Heard This One Before?

A man boasts to a friend about his new hearing aid, 'It's the most expensive one I've ever had, it cost me USD$3,500.' [£1800]

His friend asks, 'What kind is it?'

The braggart says, 'Half past four.'

Mangga DL

http://stoptazmo.com/
http://stoptazmo.com/manga-series/airgear/

''Key''

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of " ---ese" are you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean "The American repeated, "What kind of ---ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled "What kind of ---ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese etc......

"The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."

A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of '...key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of ' -key' am I ?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a monkey, donkey or a Yankee ?"

Lesson: Never insult anyone.

Bitch

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."

Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem-customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see," says the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"

Lesson Learnt: If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.

photo&profile

http://www.keniu.com/
http://www.crazyprofile.com/

钱

如果你没有钱，你就会有很多烦恼，有很多烦恼的人生是悲哀的。所谓贫贱夫妻百事哀，沦落成‘贫贱’档次的人，还是不要结婚了，那叫头脑发昏，做害人害己的事！更要害孩子，接着孩子长大后，新一轮悲剧从演。。。或许真理有很多条，但贫贱夫妻百事哀是夫妻关系里唯一的真理。真话是很难听的，但现实生活中有多少贫贱夫妻是真正幸福的？假话和谎言谁不会说，什么有情饮水饱，大多数的人就是信了这句话才潦倒终生，一世都在为了养妻活儿拼死地工作。
有人曾说过：‘在你还没有任何成就前，别谈什么自尊’，同样的当你还是身无分文时，请不要有结婚的念头。
钱不是一切，但是钱能够买到一切。你生活中哪一样不是用钱买来？你会说钱不能买到友情，爱情或亲情。那是因为钱只是得到感情的基本条件，过后还得看你本身的行为。。。当你没钱时，没有人会接近你，你不会得到那些感情，你只会得到别人的同情，乞丐就是好例子。
钱，是万恶之首，因为你和它有很远的距离。
钱，是快乐泉源，因为你拥有并懂得利用它。

blogparts

http://prb999.pixnet.net/blog/post/18730114

Public Library

''You cannot borrow these books because today is Tuesday''.This is what the librarian say to me when I hand over two books to her. I din't say anything or try to ask why, because this is our public library. A library run by our dear Government. In order to nurture reading culture among Malaysians, 85% of the book in the public library labelled for reference only, meaning that you can't borrow it! Book that you can borrow, I bet is older than your grandpa. You know why you are not allowed to borrow book when the librarian is so free sitting there reading newspaper? Because this is Malaysia, RULES ARE MADE TO GIVE OUR LOVELY GOVERNMENT SERVANT MORE TIME TO REST AT WORK. You cannot ask them to be hardworking, force them to improve their service quality, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO! If they work more hours or smile when serving you/answering your question, probably they will commit suicide because of the reason ''HIGH WORK STRESS''!

cookin image

http://www.imagechef.com/

to love

when you choose to love people, you choose to open up your life to the possibility of heartbreak and pain. specially when you choose to love someone that doesn't love you.